Win and Lose as a Team in Soccer

If you have played soccer long enough, there will eventually be a game where you know you single-handedly gave the opposition the victory.  It is a painful experience and one that can often leave a young player feeling isolated from their teammates and in sheer disappointment. 

Maybe you messed up by playing a lazy back-pass to your goalie that was intercepted and re-directed into the goal.  Or perhaps you were the goalie and made a complete howler of a simple save.  The thought sends shudders down my spine.  These moments are where you see the strength in a team, and these moments can either bring teammates together or tear them apart.  Take a guess as to which outcome is better for the overall quality of your soccer team.

Losing is the absolute worst part of any sport, and when a team can point the finger at a specific player, the results can be irreparable.  Kids can be mean to one another and can vocally berate their teammates.  If you are a coach, do not let this happen.  Just as importantly, don’t let yourself be the one hurting a child’s feelings because he or she didn’t make the crucial play.

What so many people often forget is that youth sports are about player development and exercise.  Professional teams that pay players thousands of dollars per game can be understood when criticizing a player’s mistake, but that’s because there is more at stake.  For them, soccer is their job.  For kids, soccer is a fun hobby.  Don’t alienate them in an activity that is supposed to be fun.

One thing that players and coaches should do, when a player makes a terrible game-blowing play, is to console the player after the match.  Don’t let them stand alone like an immense failure, go over to them and pat them on the head or offer some encouraging words of advice.  Yes, this is extremely difficult to do surrounding all the sad emotions of a loss, but use it as a chance to help the player out. 

Of course they feel terrible about what happened, but don’t let your angry feelings or disappointment make them feel even worse.
The same can be said about winning the game.  Sometimes when you score that glorious clincher, you may feel like the true champion of the team.  But don’t let it get to your head.  Your goal wouldn’t have counted for much had the goalie not made a brilliant save five minutes prior.  Be a part of your team and show each other respect.  Nothing is worse than a gloating egomaniac as a teammate, even if they routinely lead your team to victory.

So try and build a cohesive group of players that care for each other and respect one another.  The team dynamic is often overlooked at the youth level, but it can carry an immense weight.  These are “team” games after all.  Therefore, when in happy victory or in painful defeat, make sure that the players understand that they win or lose as a team, regardless of who made the vital play.